SELF-FULFILLMENT — 20 POWERFUL WAYS TO ACHIEVE IT

Self-fulfillment is the truth of who you are and why you are here.

It is the ability to reach your dreams, make yourself happy, and complete through your own efforts.

Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.

Richard Wright

So how do we become reach self-fulfillment?

How do we reach our highest capacity?

The human body is a magnificent machine. Unfortunately, we don't have a user manual to operate it. And if that is not enough, our spirit comes into play.

To become self-fulfilled is to know exactly how to operate this machine. It is to know every part and every aspect of it.

Only then can we work effectively towards what we want and achieve complete satisfaction.

The West explains it as fulfillment by oneself of the possibilities of one's character or personality.

The East describes it as a solid understanding of oneself and the connection to the source.

I believe that both of the theories are correct, and we can benefit from understanding them.

In this article, I share the benefits and the tools we can use to understand ourselves fully. In the end, you will find the western and eastern approaches to self-fulfillment or self-realization, as well as the self-fulfillment stages.

The benefits of self-fulfillment

We can become self-fulfilled physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually. Here are some benefits we can feel on the journey to completion:

• The ability to monitor your emotions
• Complete freedom
• Improved focus and concentration
• Increased confidence, self-awareness, and self-esteem
• Control over life
• Becoming accepting of yourself and other people
• Becoming independent and resourceful
• Ability to cultivate loving and deep relationships
• Gratitude for life
• Direction and mission
• Spiritual realization

Your life will improve tremendously. You will start noticing your actions and the consequences of them. Then you will have to ability to choose what's right and good for you.

1. Asks yourself questions

Asking questions is necessary to see more clearly. The things we ask can be about ourselves, about surroundings, or general questions.

Here are some right questions to ask and answer:

• Who am I? (this is a hard one)
• Where I am going and want to go?
• What is love for me?
• How did I come here/ to this/ became who I am?
• What am I grateful for?
• What do I do to grow?

These are just a few examples. Finding answers to them will help us know much more about ourselves.

2. Spend time alone

Spending time on your own can be challenging, but it is very beneficial. When you spend time on your own, you don't have to worry about anyone else. It forces you to be with your own thoughts.

Of course, it is essential to spend this time efficiently and make the best out of it. Make a plan for what you want to achieve.

Spending time alone increases your:

• productivity
• creativity
• empathy
• mental strength
• clarity

I had a chance to test it myself. For a year, I was studying abroad and mostly spent time alone. It was a life-changing period for me. I reflected on my all life and precisely found who I am.

3. Fully Embrace your emotions

We are emotional beings and should not hide it. We should express every emotion that we have. The best example for that is children -they don't hold anything in.

What is also very good is to monitor your emotions. Try to capture what makes you feel one way or another. It will help you understand yourself more and allow you to choose what feels the best.

If we suspend emotions, we are not entirely ourselves. In our mind, it creates a controversy - what if you want to be sad and act happy. This is how we step further from self-discovery. It may even lead to serious health problems.

What I recommend is:

If you want to laugh - laugh; if you need to cry - cry; shout loud if you feel like it!
Be yourself without boundaries.

Trust me, it feels great. Of course, maybe it is not the time to do one or another, but don't suppress it for long.

4. Meditation

Meditation is absolutely the best way to know yourself.

Meditation firstly clears your mind. With a clear mind, you can see more without false judgment. You see all of your parts.

The more you meditate, the more transparent you become. The more you see beyond your ego.

People view meditation as a scientific or spiritual process. In both ways, we benefit from it tremendously. In both ways, it connects us deeply to who we are.

I will not expand on meditation any further because I will write a detailed meditation article next week.

5. Yoga

Yoga is a powerful tool to reach self-fulfillment.

In my experience, it is the most effective one.

Yoga helps us to know ourselves inside out - our mind, body, spirit.

What is more impressive, it is simple to follow. It is a simple system, point by point. When we follow this system, we advance.

In the West, many people often understand yoga as a physical exercise. But it is much more. It touches everything from our morals, breath, mind. Then it goes to meditative stages and beyond ourselves.

And what is more, there are many types of yoga. Some of them include; devotional (Bhakti yoga), sound (Nada yoga), attaining wisdom (Jnana yoga), and more.

I know that yoga is the most helpful for my self-fulfillment at this point.

Comparing it with only meditation (meditation is a crucial part of yoga), I feel progressing faster with yoga. While meditation is more powerful, it takes much more time.

6. Journaling

Journaling is a very convenient tool for self-discovery. You can write about the past, present, and what you want in the future.

It is a great tool to express yourself because of time to think.

What is more, you can always come back and learn from what you wrote.

Journaling was a huge help in my journey. I often come back to read it and find a lot about myself.

7. Step out of your comfort zone

Stepping out of your comfort zone can teach you a lot about yourself. It will show your reactions to different situations and test your strength. You will become more creative, focused, and productive.

Also, it will help you learn much faster. Because subconsciously, you will want to make the situation more comfortable.

8. Try new things and live new experiences

We can connect, trying different things to stepping out of our comfort zone.

We need to find new things that work best for our self-fulfillment.

When we are stuck in old patterns, habits, and lifestyles, we will never find out if there is something better. And the reality often is: we don't even have to get rid of old things.

Trying new things or experiences expands our minds and gives us knowledge.

The more new things we try, the bigger chance is to find something great.

9. Travel

Travel is great and has a lot of benefits:

• It opens our eyes that we are all the same.
• It Introduces us to different cultures.
• Traveling challenges and makes us grow.
• It develops skills like curiosity, bravery, communication.
• It helps us move forward.
• Traveling will give us a sense of accomplishment.

It is just a few examples of how traveling benefits us.

One of my favorite thing about vacation traveling; it gives us freedom and nonattachment. It feels that you have this vacation vibration. Then we can truly let go and experience life without worrying.

I can speak from my own experience that traveling improved my life to a great extend.

10. Presence

Being present should be our every moment practice. Do you see what I did here?

Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life.

Thich Nhat Hanh

The present moment is all we have. We cannot change the past; only learn to form it. We cannot predict the future; only plan for it.

When we are present, we are closest to who we are - our memories and dreams do not influence our actions. We are living from our deepest self.

When I feel into the present moment, I realize that I have everything I need.

To come back to the present moment, stop and take a few deep breaths.

Another great tool is to set up a random reminder on your phone.

Of course, being present all the time is difficult and requires a lot of work to achieve.

11. STILLNESS

We all need a break to rest and to catch up with our thoughts - that quiet space of mind.

When we become still, we quiet our minds and simply feel. It helps us to stay connected to our true selves.

12. Find your strengths and weaknesses

Before we work with our strengths and weaknesses, we need to figure them out. (It could be useful to ask for help because others can see what we don't.)

When we find it out, we can travel our journeys using what works best for us. As well, avoid what could make our struggles.

But also, we should not forget our weaknesses. In many cases, we need to work on those weaknesses to become more self-fulfilled.

13. Be true to yourself

Be true to yourself; don't try to hide it.

It is taping into who you truly are.

Often, admitting the truth might hurt. But there is no other way to reach self-fulfillment.

When you are true to yourself, it gives you clearness, trust, and the ability to change.

Also, being true to yourself sometimes means admitting the good in you.

14. Be responsible

It was a massive step for me when I realized I have to take 100% responsibility for everything in life.

This moves us out of victim mentality to more of a warrior mentality.

We build strong core values and figure out who we are.

Taking full charge means taking full control over our life. We grow the mentality to make the right decisions, meet the right people, talk the right words. It is more responsibility, but much more reward as well.

15. Socialise with people

Talking to people can open new doors. We can learn a lot from each other - especially when we surround ourselves with like-minded or smarter people.

And most of the time, people come to our lives for a reason. Either to teach us something or make us see because we see others as reflections of ourselves.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Jung

Other people can point out something that we cannot see ourselves too. It can be beneficial.

I always ask people to point out something wrong in me. It is not always pleasant, but then I have a chance to become better.

16. Enjoy the journey, not the destination

Its the not the Destination, It's the journey.

Ralph Waldo

Most of us have heard this quote. But what it means?

I understand this, as we don't have to arrive anywhere. The beauty of life happens when we are walking the road. Enjoying and learning as we go.

When we achieve something, there will be something else to look for.

And some of us focus on expectations only. When I achieve that, I will be that.

But no matter how much we achieve, we will never feel accomplished thinking like that.

Never forget to stop to smell the flowers.

It will help you come back to the present moment, feel happy, and appreciate life.

17. Constantly learn

We need to improve ourselves continuously. This is how we genuinely expand.

I believe that we should never stop learning in life. If we did, we would feel stuck.

The only thing that is constant is change.

Heraclitus

The more we learn, the more we improve our lives. It can be anything from learning new skills, languages, or about ourselves.

It is a fast way to self-fulfillment.

We have to be careful of what we learn, too, not to clutter our minds with unnecessary information.

18. Help and be kind to others

No one has ever become poor by giving.

Anne Frank

Helping others is helping yourself. Trust me; it always comes back.

And we especially need it these times. As we become separated, we need to connect again.

• It improves your relationships with others and yourself.
• Doing good feels good.
• It is good karma.
• People will eventually notice you.
• It shows you love, kindness, gratefulness.
• Helping can teach you a new skill.

Helping others is a complete image of self-fulfillment.

I know my life improved a lot when I started giving without wanting anything in return. It feels right for me, and I hope I am a good example.

19. Altered states of consciousness

An altered state of consciousness is any condition which is significantly different from a normal waking state.

It is when the brain is most receptive to everything, and the ego is the weakest. There are some types of altered states: ranging from intoxication to spiritual experiences.

In these beneficial states, you become more alert, connected, focused, receptive, and reach the flow-state.

It is a perfect time to communicate with yourself and improve yourself.

Things that can induce an altered state of consciousness:

• Hypnosis
• Substances
• Meditation, yoga
• Eye gazing
• Art
• Shamanic drums, binaural beats
• Trance
• Mindfulness
• Nature

20. Plant medicine

Plant medicine can be a great tool to see deep in ourselves. It can help us heal, and it can make us see clearly.

But we have to use it responsibly and remember it is just a map, but we have to take the road ourselves.

It is like a peek through a keyhole - that high vibrational dose of what we could be.

I don't imply anyone doing it. But if you decide, you should follow some guidelines to be safe and make the most of it.

Here are some tips for doing it safely:

• Make sure you know what you take and that it is legal.
• Have a safe environment and people to watch over you.
• Drink water and don't forget food after some time.

Tips for most benefits:

• Think of an intention on why you want to do this.
• Set some time to meditate. Otherwise, it is not worth it.
• After it finishes, document your experience.
• Do not get attached to it.

Again I am not implying that one should do it or no. I believe it is a robust tool used by our ancestors as a medicine. And more scientific researches are proving its benefits on humans.

A western model to self-fulfillment

In the West, significant figures talking about self-fulfillment were Sigmund Freud, followed by his student Carl Jung.

These extraordinary people said that the human mind is conscious and subconscious. Becoming self-fulfilled is to understand and control both of them.

And then there was Abraham Maslow talking about self-actualization. Most of us heard about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Maslow talks about self-actualization from basic to inner needs. As you climb these pyramid steps, you become more self-aware.

Here are stages from lowest to highest, according to Maslow.

1. Physiological needs. These are the most precise needs - the things that we need to survive. It can also include temperature conditions, as it could be fatal.
2. Safety needs. Material security and safety needs. It provides us food, a place to live in, a place to go when we get sick or injured.
3. Belonging and love needs. These are our social needs. We want to feel accepted and loved.
4. Esteem needs. This is our acceptance and respect in our society. People want to be valued for what they do.
5. Self-actualization. It is when we reach our highest potential. We feel that all previous steps are accomplished.

Although Maslow's theory is the most popular in the West and teaches us a lot, I believe it is just part of a bigger image of complete self-fulfillment. We also need:

• nature and sun
• aesthetics
• cognition - knowledge
• spiritual needs
• the need to help others, and more.

The spiritual concept of Self-fulfillment

Self-realization in the east is different from the West. It is about realizing yourself spiritually and becoming one with God.

The deeper the Self-realization of a man, the more he influences the whole universe by his subtle spiritual vibrations, and the less he himself is affected by the phenomenal flux.

Paramahansa Yogananda,

People who are going through a spiritual path will usually go through 9 stages. However, some of these stages, especially the beginning stages, can be applied to our physical self-fulfillment.

The higher stages, the longer it will usually take. This process might take a lifetime or even more.

Let me know in which stage you are?

Stages of spiritual Self-fulfillment

The first three stages are all about asking the right questions for yourself. It is the start of our journey.

1. Self-awareness. In this stage, we start to understand who we are and what we want. Sometimes it can be challenging because things that we begin to see might be negative.

Questions to ask: Who am I?

2. Self-exploration. We start learning more and more about ourselves and become curious about ourselves. Often we seek outside help: books, tests, even horoscopes, anything we think might help us.

Questions to ask: What makes me feel that way?

3. Self-discovery. We finally start to understand who we are and see the consequences of our actions.

Questions to ask: Why am I doing this or that?

The next stages of self-fulfillment are when we move from asking questions and start connecting with ourselves.

4. Self-Understanding. We understand who we are and what we do. The questions are answered. We know our actions but still cannot control them.

5. Self-Love. We start to accept ourselves for who we are. Everyone has good and bad. Loving and nourishing ourselves is necessary to move to the next stages.

6. Self-Transformation. We see things that don't serve us anymore and start working on them. This stage might be very uncomfortable because we are shedding old skin – habits, beliefs, actions.

The next stages happen when we know ourselves very well and did the transformation.

7. Self-Mastery. Now it is time to hone our skills. In this stage, we work on our strengths and start mastering our outer and inner worlds.

8. Self-Transcendence. This stage is about going beyond ourselves. We feel deeply connected to the universe. We start to see purpose higher than ourselves.

9. Self-realization. The final stage. We detach from our ego and become one with the source. People call it Enlightenment; Samadhi; Buddhahood; Christ Consciousness.

Conclusion

Self-fulfillment is the state of completion and happiness we all dream for. It is not easy to reach it, but with constant work, we can progress.

The West and the East phylosophies understand self-fulfillment in different ways: fulfillment of oneself through personal traits and fulfilling one's spirituality.

No matter how we look at it, I believe that everyone would benefit from this.