If any human being is to reach full maturity both the feminine and masculine sides of the personality must be brought up into consciousness.
Mary Esther Harding
Have you ever thought about why some women are attracted to a particular type of man?
Or why, even if you see your partner as the most fantastic human being, but there is no physical attraction?
To understand this, we need to know the importance of sexual polarity — the interaction between masculine and feminine energies.
You will be surprised how much influence it has on our lives. And especially how much it shapes your relationships.
We can only meet someone at the dept we met ourselves.We have to understand that this is a basic but very useful concept. Eventually, you can start seeing it everywhere, especially in ourselves and one another.
In this article, you will find the core values of masculine and feminine. It will help you understand how it works and what is dominant in you. When you know it, you can see what you lack and start healing it. It will help you improve our relationship with yourselves and others.
I write this article because we all have some hurts against each other, women against men, men against women. But it doesn’t have to be like this. We need to understand ourselves and each other more. When we do it, we can approach one another from a very different place — love and harmony. It will make relationships between people more beautiful, making this planet more wonderful.
FEMININE AND MASCULINE POLARITY IN THE UNIVERSE
We see polarity everywhere in the universe: south pole and north pole, Sun and Moon, Fire and water, day and night, plus and minus, positive and negative, active and passive.
We can see this pattern in gender polarity, too — feminine and masculine.
Tantra calls it Shiva and Shakti.
Tao explains it as Yin and Yang.
Buddhist see it as the left and right side of the brain.
Yoga explains it as Ida and Pingala.
These two powerful primal energies are the creating forces of the universe itself. They both are equally essential and cannot exists without each other.
Masculine is the construction block, the physical material of reality. Feminine is the dynamic potential always working in motion.
The big bang theory explains that everything started from one point: the masculine. Then it started expanding, moving, without stopping, like feminine energy.
Tantra sees it even further. They have Sri Yantra to explain how the masculine was the seed, and the feminine gives birth to the universe from that seed. This is a powerful meditation tool.
We, humans, universally have both energies. It is unnecessary to be a man to have masculine energy or be a woman to have feminine. But usually, those energies are predominant in men and women. (I will be referring to them sometimes as man and woman in this article).
SEXUAL POLARITY AND RELATIONSHIP
Polarity is not the complete image of a successful relationship.
But non less, it is what makes us attracted to each other. It is what makes our relationship complete and passionate. Without it, relationships might feel that there is something is missing.
Even in the same gender relationships, usually, we see one more masculine partner, other more feminine.
The positive and negative poles of a battery create an electrical flow. The masculine and feminine poles between people create a flow of sexual energy in motion.
David Deida
Low polarity couples — can be emotionally connected and love each other — love is universal. But two people who have no polarity, no matter how they love each other, will not be sexually attracted. You can either try working with your polarity or, unfortunately, find different partners.
High polarity couples — are extremely attracted to each other, especially physically. But most times, eventually, such couples will lose connection and communication. They might not find similarities outside sexuality.
Active polarity couples — this is when couples can shift their polarity. Such couples are deeply connected in every day relationships and can also create a strong physical attraction. These types of relationships tend to work best.
Myself, I have been through all three types. The first two didn’t feel complete. But I was lucky to learn, and see my mistakes, fully embrace both masculine and feminine energies. When I realized who I am and what I need, and how to control it, I found a complete, growing relationship.
POLARITY OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIP
Healing and controlling your polar energies not only makes your relationships fantastic or make you extremely attractive. It goes far beyond.
Because these energies are the core of who we are, we need to be familiar with them to know why we are here on this planet. If we don’t see it, we might feel unstable, lost, frustrated in life.
But when we see it clearly, we can use it to our advantage. Or we even start switching between the two to our advantage.
Sometimes a woman needs more masculine to be successful in her career. But she needs to know how to shut it down when it comes to a relationship.
A man sometimes needs to be more nurturing to his children. Again, he needs to switch back to have that attraction with his woman.
DEEPEST DIVINE MASCULINE AND FEMININE QUALITIES
Below are the qualities of masculine and feminine energies. Again, any person can have both energies. Some people could even have half/ half.
The energies beneath are the very core principles of polarity. Use them to see which pole is more dominant in you. It is not easy to understand which core you are, but you will start to relate more and more when you know the difference.
Women want to trust their men and feel protected. She will go everywhere such a man leads her, roaming the planet safe, always dancing, enjoying life, spreading beauty and love.
The man is here on this planet to live his single highest purpose. Nothing feels righter than having a radiant, loving woman beside him. She becomes his muse, his inspiration, his motivation.
The feminine energy needs a stable point to flow around, hold on to, and surrounding it. While this single point — masculine, can admire this energy and feel complete.
Together they complement each other and manifest reality. They are equal and should be in balance.
THE DIVINE FEMININE
Divine feminine gives birth to the universe. Therefore, she is everything we see around us. It is the trees, the sky, rivers, smells, tastes. It is the beauty of the universe. Without masculine energy, there would be nothing to witness this beauty.
Through a woman, this energy expresses through love. Feminine is love. Women need to love and to be loved deeply.
The divine feminine is always changing. Like water, with fluidity, she goes around every rock, every obstacle that crosses her path. She will find enjoyment in that because she is the dance herself.
She has this calm, caring, and nurturing energy. Often, we see that women dream of taking care of a home, a garden, a family.
A healthy feminine is able and not afraid to express her emotions freely. Emotions is feminine. She decides everything on her intuition and how it feels because she is very connected inwardly.
Feminine is creative and expressive. She loves to dance; sing expresses herself in any way possible.
Women want to be praised and feel full. She wants to be noticed when she gets a new hairstyle and feel beautiful. That’s how she feels complete. While man, just want to be empty.
THE DIVINE MASCULINE
Divine Masculine is the consciousness itself. It is the seed, the idea, from which the universe is born. This energy wants to feel, to be surrounded by feminine energy. It is like a straight line that grabs everything to it and lives it. Without feminine energy, there would be nothing to live.
Through a man, this energy expresses as consciousness and meditation. Men need to be present. The more present he is, the more he can feel the feminine.
Masculine is always the same — eternal. It can be brought to the smallest single point, like never changing reality, like sole truth, definite reality.
The man is very logical. He considers all things and then makes the right decision and act outwardly.
Masculine is power. It can push through anything. If a man sets his mind to something, nothing can stop him. Like a straight line, like the fire of the sun, pure energy — it penetrates through life. Therefore, men like to be challenged and reach the limits, to grow fastest.
A man should have a purpose, a mission that is his driving force and the most important thing for him. Even more important than his woman, if she doesn’t serve this purpose.
The masculine is the boundary setter, and it always wants to bring things to an end. While feminine could never stop feeling, talking, enjoying, masculine wants to conclude everything.
UNBALANCED MASCULINE AND FEMININE.
By this, I by no means try to target anyone or say one is better than others. We all have something to heal or improve. By these points, I want to spread awareness about ourselves.
Anything can unbalance our energies. From our childhood, from what we see in society, form all the trauma we have from each other.
It helped me tremendously when I saw my wounds. My father loved me. But I didn’t want to lead a life like him or be like him. That led me to not having a masculine figure in my childhood, damaging my masculinity. Simply realizing it, it started the healing process in me.
UNHEALTHY FEMININE
- Untrusting. If a woman’s trust is broken, it is hard to heal it, and they might not trust any man ever again because they will think every man is the same.
- Over feminine. Women have the right to be angry about ”the man’s world”, as they were oppressed for a long time now. But sometimes, women take it to a whole different extreme. Instead of finding balance, they reject everything about masculinity.
- Seeking approval. We might become open to everything and everyone, without even choosing, just for the sake to feel full and appreciated. It might lead to choosing partners who are not worthy of us.
- Uncontrollable emotions. Showing our feelings is always right. The problem arises when we hide them, or we become over-emotional. We might even start using our emotions to manipulate others.
- Feeling not worthy. When we feel unworthy, we try to hide it. Again, it’s okay in moderation, but some people become way too excessive with makeup, clothes, or even plastic surgeries. We create a new image for ourselves, hiding who we truly are — beautiful beings.
- Demanding. Being needy is natural. We sometimes all need love and attention. But the problem arises when we become demanding.
UNHEALTHY MASCULINE
- Overpowering. Men are powerful beings, but unfortunately, some men tend to use it not for the greater good. They start abusing their power to take what they want. That is the opposite of what men should be: use their power to inspire, protect, and create.
- Cannot express emotions. Unfortunately, today’s society has made men believe that telling our feelings is a sign of weakness. But it is necessary, and even more, it takes strength to do it.
- Over masculine men. Men that are masculine for the sake of masculinity can become very narrow-minded. They follow the same ”manly” interests, treat women in a specific way, and feel that it is the only way to show manliness.
- Buy things as an image. When this part of the masculine is damaged, we might only feel our worth when we have expensive items. But real success is not measured in that.
- Drawn to addictions. Some men struggle in life so much that they will turn to various substances to forget and feel empty. I know I did it myself to some extent.
- Doesn’t have a direction. To find a path in life is easier said than done. Some people don’t have a clear mission for their whole life. But when you find that mission and direction, then life will become much easier. I recommend setting a period of time to work it out.
HOW TO WORK WITH OUR POLARITY
When we understand who we are in our core, it is time to start working on it. I promise, when you balance your energies, life will become more harmonious. It is especially useful in a relationship when we need to match each other.
The energies can be tapped instantly. But first, we really need to feel it, feel what they are.
It is like a switch in your body. A man needs to feel that intensity in him to want a woman. A woman needs to open herself from the heart. She needs to want to be loved.
To connect to our core energies more, we can use these simple tools:
WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR FEMININE
- Praise yourself — go to a spa, hairdresser, eat a delicious dinner.
- Express yourself — paint, dance, sing like no one is watching.
- Spend time with your female friends.
- Find something to care about — ideally, other humans, but it could be a plant, a garden as well.
- Bring beauty into your life — make your house beautiful, buy new clothes.
- Have any practice that lets you connect to the divine.
WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR MASCULINE
- Have a challenging workout.
- Spend time in a manly company.
- Go to unknown adventure — this is powerful. Go somewhere where you know no one, and you have to trust only yourself.
- Find a mission — this might be the hardest thing in life, but if you want to fully connect to your masculine, it’s a must.
- Learn from mistakes.
- Have a period of time alone to come back to yourself.
HOW MASCULINE AND FEMININE INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER
Masculine is meditation; the feminine is love.
We have to give it to each other.
Through meditation, men become more loving.
Through love, women become more meditative.Nothing is more beautiful to a man than a radiant woman.
Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man that knows his purpose.
A man needs to understand that feminine is always present, and her attention goes moment by moment. Let’s say you forgot something, and she gets mad, but then you approach her with fun and love, start dancing with her. She will calm down.
But she might not be so forgiving the second time. Lying, losing trust, making constant mistakes will destroy sexual polarity or even relationship.
A woman needs to believe in her man and support him. She needs to show that she trusts him and can open herself fully.
A woman should not doubt her man. Don’t doubt that he knows the direction or that he will fix things in the house. Always saying that he is wrong kills sexual polarity too.
The feminine sometimes wants to be taken by the man, and the man needs to, with love, ravish her for ultimate sexual attraction.
UNDERSTANDING POLARITY IS KEY TO SPIRITUAL SEXUALITY
In the west, sexuality has a weird image. Either it is oversexualized, or we feel ashamed talking about it. And most westerners get their sexual education from very wrong sources like pornography.
In the east, ancient people saw it very differently. They not only saw sexuality as a tool only for pleasure. They saw sexual energy as a way to enlightenment.
There is Tantra (the name Tantra itself is very misunderstood in the west. Sexual Tantra is just a small part of powerful Tibetan and Yogic traditions.) It talks about Shiva and Shakti — the union of the two energies, to reach completion.
There is sexual Tao. They teach about how sexual energy is almost like electricity circulating through our bodies and how the fire can boil the water. We can store this strong sexual energy to enhance life.
My self I am practicing Tao, and it completely changed my life. I will write an article about sexuality in spirituality in the future. But for now, if you want to research more, take a look at books for women; man. These books are a roadmap to full-body health, and I highly recommend them. And one of the absolute best books for superior man, from the master himself David Deida.
CONCLUSION
Understanding sexual polarity leads to understanding ourselves. It will not only improve relationship with ourselves but enhance our relationships with others. Although there are deep traits of masculine and feminine energies, everyone has both. We can use them to our advantage.
